To be something more.. Part 2

     My  trek to  be a better person has been moving at a good pace. I  have been thinking long and hard about what  else I  could do  to make myself a better person and help others.  And I have some ideas that  I  would love to  share with  everyone.

     The first thing is about time.  Time is our biggest enemy, it never stops we can never get enough of it. SO  we are forced to make decisions on how to  use this limited resource.  Many  Celtic  and Wicca based groups use the "Year and a Day" period for training people.  And it is a good amount of time to  use. There is a lot to learn in a year for all pagans.  We should never stop learning, you stop learning you stop living. You  only exist if you don't apply your mind.  Some groups are very  strict on the 366 days of learning and some are more flexible.  I  think  that  there has to  be a great of flexibility of anyone that  seeks to lead others.

     Life is never easy, we have events that  occur in our lives that  take away  from our studies. You  might have been reading a book  by  Scott Cunningham , then all of a sudden something changed your  time devoted to  learning.  Do  we throw away  all progress made and have to  start on a new 'year and a day'? I  think that  wouldn't work.  Most paths have 8  Sabbaths, 4 major and 4 minor. And since our Sabbaths are connected to  the changing seasons that  are the same duration. So I  suggest  dividing the year and a day into  4 quarters or 13 week periods.  Have a self test or have  your  spiritual guide  test you on what  you  were supposed to learn.  If you pass then you can move on to  the next quarter, if not  go back  and learn what  you need to learn.

     Why  am I  thinking about this? Because I have decided that if I  am going to  help others and work  as a spiritual  guide for others, I  need to  create a year and a day study  program .  And this would be a major task.  I  will  learn from creating this system, plus I  could help  anyone that  is seeking advice. Having something worked out on paper will work  as a guideline for both people.  I  am still  wanting to  be a part of an open circle not a coven.  I  am willing to  help  anyone out. I  just don't want people to  think  that  I  am  their only person that  they  can talk  to.

     The idea that  I  had is that  a person would start his/her training that  day  after a major Sabbath.  Then  on the next Sabbath they  would present themselves with  what  they  have created and what  they learned by discussion.  They  would bring their  BOS and other books with  them and any  tools  that  they  made and explain why  they  are a certain way.   Then their guide could ask a few questions and get a feeling of how the person is advancing.  There can never be a formal  test,  because we all must follow out own path.

     I  had an idea of creating a code of ethics notebook in with my BOS.  In this book I  would add  all the judgements that  I make .  The purpose is to  hold myself accountable for the actions that I  do.  I  am seeing too much  flip flopping in the presidential election with  Romney.  And I  think  that  by creating this notebook , it  would  strengthen my resolve in staying true to what I  say  and do.  We all have our moments when we  soften up our convictions.  I  would be making an oath  to  the book  to  uphold the ethics that I  create in that  book.  This  would be a good thing in helping others as well , because I  will have some established rules and an explanation why I  feel  that  way.  I  can't impose them on anyone, but  if someone has a question on a certain subject I  could discuss it with  them.  And that  is what  a person should do if they  are going to  be part of a community.

     I have bought a briefcase that I  am going to  keep  all my pagan papers in.  I  am trying to  think of all of the functions ministers have.  I am still  working on my  marriage ceremony speech. I have most of the pre-martial counseling class worked out.  I  haven't figured out how to  handle a funeral, I have been to  so  few in my  life,  I  have a lot of research to  do  there.

     Being a spiritual guide is also more than just knowing information. It is about interacting with others, developing a personality that  can cross bridges and  through the barriers that  people have.  I know people that  are are very intelligent and socially dumb, and vice versa. So learning to  talk  with  people and not just talking at people is a skill  that  must be learned and applied to  everyday life.  Being social doesn't mean that  you have to  be nice all  the time. There is a time where tough love is needed. There is a time when what  you believe in must come before having a friend.  To be a spiritual  guide sometimes we must take a course of actions  to get noticed and to let others know that  they  are not alone.

     This  brings me back  to  the Robert Frost poem.   I  think  that  we must go  through some ordeals to  get stronger. We must  experience life to understand life.  I  am a strong person and I  want to  help others. There are people out there that have taken the road less traveled and got lost along the way. I  am walking the road less traveled and I  want to  help  those also on the road as well. And in the end it will make all  the difference.

To be something more..

     We all must seek  to  be a better person today  than what  we were yesterday.  In what  way  we are better is up  to  each  and everyone of us.  My  changes in life have been going very  well. I  am seeing the vast contrast in the person I  am today  and the person I  was 5 years ago.  I  am not even close in  being the mean person that I  was .  When I  became an Ordain minister through the Universal Life Church there was two  simple rules. Do  the right thing and spread love. I  am going to  do  the right thing, but I  am going to  spread my type of love.  If you have read my previous blogs you would see that  I  am not a 'love and light'  type of person. But what  I  will  give is support to  those that  need it or want it. I  have a former co-worker that  I  was working on giving him some helpful support. And I  hope that  I  was able to  get through to him some of the basics.

     I  have been wanting to  be something more than who  I  am today. The thoughts of leading others to  a better life have been bouncing around in my head. It feels good to  help others. I  want to  help other people  on their path, not convert anyone, just help  those that  are wanting some  assistance.  But to lead , I  need to have something to offer people .  I  have a great deal of advice, experiences, and wisdom.  I  have been trying to  figure out a basis for a foundation of advancement for others. And in return I  will learn and become a better person as well.

     But  this desire is more than a pagan course. I  would like to  help others in other areas of life.  Telling people about their work  ethic and responsibilities to the world around them.  Why? Well I have complained many  of times about how ministers refuse to  give real world advice to their people. They teach  of scripture, but  not of the world around them.  Balance is something that  must be maintained in so many  aspects of life, so  many  different aspects of life must be discussed and learned from.

     The marines have a shirt that  says.."Lead , follow, or get out of the way."  There are times in life that  we have to  do  those three things.  When something is important to  you,  you must take control and lead to success.  When you see others working for a just cause  you must follow their lead and assist them into  achieving their goal.  When people are doing something that doesn't effect you , you must learn tolerance and get out of the way.

     I  was told that  I  would similar to  a life coach. And maybe that  would  be the best way  to  describe what  I  want to  do. But I  want to  be the teacher of people and touch  people's lives in a positive way.  I  don't want to  be the High Priest of a coven or grove. I  want to  be a part of a large open circle and  build off of each other.  A community of people respecting each other as equals .  So I  am devoting some time in building a foundation for a series of lessons that  I  as a minister would need.  The first part would be writing done a program for pre-marital  counseling  and marriage support classes.  And then research  some grief counseling lessons to build a  program  for losing a loved one.

     In  the end , I  will be a better person.  Now look in the mirror and ask  yourself  one question. What  can I  do  today  to make myself a better person?  Then ask  yourself, Why  haven't I  done that  already.  We set or own limitations. Others only have control over us if we let them. Don't let anyone tell  you that  you can never be better.  All  you have to  do is take that  first step.

Creating a code of Ethics

     In my last  blog I  talked about choosing ethics over friends and vice versa.  I  realized that some of us don't have an established set of ethics and some probably don't have anything except the very simplest figured out.   We need a code of ethics for ourselves to  be better people.  Now I  am not suggesting a code of ethics that  fits all people, that would be impossible. I  am talking about creating a code of ethics that  is for you, and only you.

     First step is deciding what  type of person you are now and the person you want to  be. I  am a person at a crossroads, I  am trying to  be a valued part of the pagan community.  I  am a currently a person that was angrier and stubborn as a bull,  but is now more open and understanding to others.  I have learned a great deal  about  paganism and I  have so much more to learn.  But a  code of ethics is something that  just doesn't pertain to paganism, it is about our whole lives.  I  am an honest person, I  voice my  opinion,  I  have worked with  the same company for 20 years. I  am a diovorced father of two.  there are many  little things and big things that  makes us who  we are.   I  would like to  be an Author,  Spiritual  advisor, politically active, smarter, trusted, and happy.

     Second step is figuring out who  has inspired you or affected you in a positive manner.  Write a list of these people and why  they  affected you.  Please use historically correct people if  you can.  If you workj  with  other people and discuss matters like I  am doing here,  some people will  find it hard to  take you serious if you list an anime character is a  ethical source.  Yes I  have grown inspiration from fictional  characters, but I  will seperate my views of fantasy  and history.  There are people that  have  molded us into  the people we are today.  Keeping them alive in our thoughts and writings is a great way  to  honor them.

    So  grab a piece of paper and start writing down things that  are important ethics to  have and go into  detail. Also  please write  them in a positive manner. These will  become your commandments,  and when you violate them , you are sinning to  yourself.  I know that  many will  disagree with  that, but  building your own ethics and following them is what  developes ourselves into  better people.

1. I  shall  be honest
2. I  shall  stand for what  I  believe in.  (  Winston Churchill said " You  have enemies, good. That means you stood up  for something sometime in you life.")
3. I  will  voice my  opinion. (Winston Churchill taught me the power of a mouse in one of his speeches."
4.  I  will  do  the right thing.
5. I  will  show respect for other people's beliefs. But  tolerence can only be mutual.
6. I  will  follow the laws of the land.
7.  I will always  be me.

     So  there are my  first seven.  There are many  more, some major and some minor. These mean alot to  me. I  shall be honest, because if I can't be honest with others, why  should they  be honest with me.  I  will stand up  for  what I  believe in, too many  stand aside and let the wrongs occur unchecked. Someone has to  say no.  Voicing my opinion, some of  you know I  am very  good at that,  How can anyone know how you feel if you don't open your mouth.  Doing the right thing, is very  simple, if you know it  to be right , just do it then.  

     Number 5 is  a harder one to  explain.  I  have my  beliefs and everyone else has their own views.  I  might not like or understand  some other religious belief,  but I  will  respect that person's right to follow his/her heart.  I  will take what I  know of other religions at try to understand  how the other person feels.  As long as the other person doesn't  attack my beliefs I  will  not attack other person's beliefs.  Only when both people respect the other's view can tolerence be established. And with  tolerence  there can come co-existence.

    Number 6 is a touchy one as well.  I  will  follow the laws of the land. And that means ALL laws. There will  be no exceptions to  this.  That means I  will  not speed and I  will wear my  seatbelt.  I  will  not try to  justify an excuse into  breaking a law.  Some people  say  that  it is alright to  smoke pot, it is a harmless drug.  But  with my  stance, it is still illegal  for a reason, I  will  follow the laws.

      Wintston Churchill  motivated me alot.  The quote from above  also  has a different message in it.  You  can't always be everyone's friend.  In many  groups that I  belonged to,  I  am told that  everone should just get along.  Each  person is unique, and so  we all have different views on various topics. Sometimes  this differences will  cause a conflict. That is a part of life.  To  get along with everyone like  some people think, would require us to be silent sometimes and to  give up a part of who  we are.  Churchill  was strongly opposed to  appeasement before World War 2.   And that is what  we are asked to  do  when we ask asked to 'just get along'.  It is our differences that make us who  we are and if we can work  through them it makes us as a whole stronger. So  I  will  be me.

     I  talked about breaking our personnal  commandments. When we do  this the punishment is simple, you have to  look  at yourself in the mirror and admit you screwed up.  If you know you are following your personal commandments you will  be able to  look in the mirror with  pride.

    Your person commandments can be  usede to improve yourself. I have one about reading at least 100 pages a week.  This is about discovering yourself  and bettering yourself. Only when you know yourself and what  you want in life can you move forward.