In my last blog I talked about choosing ethics over friends and vice versa. I realized that some of us don't have an established set of ethics and some probably don't have anything except the very simplest figured out. We need a code of ethics for ourselves to be better people. Now I am not suggesting a code of ethics that fits all people, that would be impossible. I am talking about creating a code of ethics that is for you, and only you.
First step is deciding what type of person you are now and the person you want to be. I am a person at a crossroads, I am trying to be a valued part of the pagan community. I am a currently a person that was angrier and stubborn as a bull, but is now more open and understanding to others. I have learned a great deal about paganism and I have so much more to learn. But a code of ethics is something that just doesn't pertain to paganism, it is about our whole lives. I am an honest person, I voice my opinion, I have worked with the same company for 20 years. I am a diovorced father of two. there are many little things and big things that makes us who we are. I would like to be an Author, Spiritual advisor, politically active, smarter, trusted, and happy.
Second step is figuring out who has inspired you or affected you in a positive manner. Write a list of these people and why they affected you. Please use historically correct people if you can. If you workj with other people and discuss matters like I am doing here, some people will find it hard to take you serious if you list an anime character is a ethical source. Yes I have grown inspiration from fictional characters, but I will seperate my views of fantasy and history. There are people that have molded us into the people we are today. Keeping them alive in our thoughts and writings is a great way to honor them.
So grab a piece of paper and start writing down things that are important ethics to have and go into detail. Also please write them in a positive manner. These will become your commandments, and when you violate them , you are sinning to yourself. I know that many will disagree with that, but building your own ethics and following them is what developes ourselves into better people.
1. I shall be honest
2. I shall stand for what I believe in. ( Winston Churchill said " You have enemies, good. That means you stood up for something sometime in you life.")
3. I will voice my opinion. (Winston Churchill taught me the power of a mouse in one of his speeches."
4. I will do the right thing.
5. I will show respect for other people's beliefs. But tolerence can only be mutual.
6. I will follow the laws of the land.
7. I will always be me.
So there are my first seven. There are many more, some major and some minor. These mean alot to me. I shall be honest, because if I can't be honest with others, why should they be honest with me. I will stand up for what I believe in, too many stand aside and let the wrongs occur unchecked. Someone has to say no. Voicing my opinion, some of you know I am very good at that, How can anyone know how you feel if you don't open your mouth. Doing the right thing, is very simple, if you know it to be right , just do it then.
Number 5 is a harder one to explain. I have my beliefs and everyone else has their own views. I might not like or understand some other religious belief, but I will respect that person's right to follow his/her heart. I will take what I know of other religions at try to understand how the other person feels. As long as the other person doesn't attack my beliefs I will not attack other person's beliefs. Only when both people respect the other's view can tolerence be established. And with tolerence there can come co-existence.
Number 6 is a touchy one as well. I will follow the laws of the land. And that means ALL laws. There will be no exceptions to this. That means I will not speed and I will wear my seatbelt. I will not try to justify an excuse into breaking a law. Some people say that it is alright to smoke pot, it is a harmless drug. But with my stance, it is still illegal for a reason, I will follow the laws.
Wintston Churchill motivated me alot. The quote from above also has a different message in it. You can't always be everyone's friend. In many groups that I belonged to, I am told that everone should just get along. Each person is unique, and so we all have different views on various topics. Sometimes this differences will cause a conflict. That is a part of life. To get along with everyone like some people think, would require us to be silent sometimes and to give up a part of who we are. Churchill was strongly opposed to appeasement before World War 2. And that is what we are asked to do when we ask asked to 'just get along'. It is our differences that make us who we are and if we can work through them it makes us as a whole stronger. So I will be me.
I talked about breaking our personnal commandments. When we do this the punishment is simple, you have to look at yourself in the mirror and admit you screwed up. If you know you are following your personal commandments you will be able to look in the mirror with pride.
Your person commandments can be usede to improve yourself. I have one about reading at least 100 pages a week. This is about discovering yourself and bettering yourself. Only when you know yourself and what you want in life can you move forward.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Ethics and Friendship
Well I am dealing with an issue that I think many ignore. Do you place more importance on your ethics or your friends? I believe that too many people are placing the importance on friends than ethics. I believe that a person should place importance on ethics first then friends. Yes this does mean that you will not have as many friends as others, but you would have better friends than the others as well.
Let me start from the beginning, I am active in Facebook groups, and I have been involved in many heated debates. I am an open honest person that draws a line in the sand and I will defend it with a great passion. I have also been trying to be nicer and more understanding. My sense of humor is still a bit on the dry side. I get into these heated topics and I see some actions of people that drives me nuts. People seem to forget about doing the right thing and do things just to be friends. Is it worth while to have a certain person be your friend if that person causes you to act in unhonorable ways? Are you going to defend a friend if they are acting with no respect to others and is openly being deceptive?
I think the loss of your honor is too high of a price to pay to be popular. I want good friends that I can be proud of. I have a friend that is an atheist, he can be meaner than me at times, but he is honest and openly expresses himself. I am proud to call him my friend. I can handle his moods because I can trust him and he has my respect. Because we have a good friendship, I can discuss anything with him, and I know I would get a good discussion from him.
In one group that I am dealing with there was a discussion about vegans. Some vegans are out of touch with reality and need to rethink their position in my opinion. I was trying to joke around and made the comment about handling a Milky Way to a vegan. The nougat in the Milky Way has egg whites in it. This caused one person to go irrational in response. She had to post 9 different images or links about animal cruelty. She decided to go on a campaign to promote her views. Some of the images were pathetic in my opinion. She posted a picture of a man standing over a lion while holding a compound bow. I tried to explain that many meat eaters are also against trophy hunting.
The issue I have with vegans that are vegans because of animal abuse is that they are hypocrites. They want to place a higher value on certain animals lives compared to everything else. Stop slaughtering the cows but kill all the rats. I made points about how all life should be treated with equal reverence. That plants have been proven to have nervous systems and react to outside stimuli. So shouldn't the head of lettuce be valued just like the cow. Both are lifeforms from this planet.
Well the lady didn't take this too well. She made a post saying that the group was evil. In which I responded that the group isn't evil, it is just a difference of opinion. I thought her comment was very irrational. She was so wrapped up in her agenda that she has lost all objectivity.
I did no name calling or insulting. however a few members started to do passive attacks on me. One person asked if I was a bully in school. By asking the question she placed the suggestion that I was bullying people. And peoples view toward me changed. The worst thing was it was the only thing this person posted. She couldn't add a positive viewpoint to the chat, only a negative passive attack.
So the group admin finally came to the room and asked people to knock off the heated discussion. I agreed and dropped it. But the lady that got so upset with me couldn't drop it. And I quote, "We need to keep talking about it not push it under the carpet". So she has no issues of ignoring the group admins request. Now I have been working on being a nicer person. My atheist friend reminded me of a song " Carrot Juice is Murder". And it is a light hearted way to break the anger. If you can't stop and laugh at the situation, you are taking it too seriously. So I posted the link in the group . And behold, the lady in question took it as an attack on her. And she posted that she wished the subject would end but the other person (me) wouldn't let it end and that other person (me) has attacked her. Now this is a problem because it says she wants to continue the discussion against the admins request, then says she wishes it to end. So as I see it, she only wants to hear from people that agree with her. She played the victim card, right after starting a fight. This is how passive aggressive people fight battles. They cause fights and then claim to be the victim. Hoping that others will side with her and criminalize the supposed attackers.
And people did side with her and helped her attack me. I was criminalized when I was suggested of being a bully. The person made a general statement of repeated attacks on her so that she could be a victim. this works in making sure that nobody sides with me because they would be afraid of being criminalized as well. I made no attacks on her, none. I posted my points and views on being a vegan and about animal cruelty. Never aimed a comment toward her. As I stated in the beginning I draw the line in the sand and I defend it. So they started to say that I was 'the dog and the bone." Fine that does describe me at times, I am not going to lie about who I am. But if I am that dog with the bone, this lady is the neighbor that throws pebbles at the dog , then complains when the dog barks in response.
And nobody stood against her except me. Nobody seen the actions she was doing and told her that she was wrong. The quote I made from her is still up in the group, but not a single person will do anything about it. Why because they choose being every one's friends before being ethically honest with others and themselves. In so many other facebook groups I dealt with the same basic theme. People defended the friend that was behaving badly over the poor ethics that the person showed. A good friend will tell you that you are being an idiot, a bad friend will just smile and fake it. SO maybe I am wasting my time writing this blog. As I stated being ethically honest comes in a distant second to being every one's friend.
And you might be thinking that I am angry with the lady, but I am not mad at her. I feel sorry for her. She faces the toughest punishment imagined... She has to look at herself in the mirror and know that she is corrupt, out of balance, irrational,and lacks respect for others. She stated to opposing views on how she wanted the conversation to end. Either you do or you don't. She was goading for a response so that she can passively attack someone with false claims of attack. She is so high strung on her agenda she see any opposing views as attacks on herself. And when told to stop, she refused.
What does it say about you as a person if you can't stand up for what you believe in. If you can't or won't stand up for the little things, why should I or anyone else trust you when the big things occur. Every time you allow someone to act badly and do nothing , you are agreeing with their actions. If bill seen frank steal twenty bucks and does nothing about it, The bill is supporting stealing from others. If you can't be honest with yourself, why would you be honest with others. I have chosen a difficult road of being ethical. I have ruffled many feathers, but I can look in the mirror and be proud of what I have done today.
Let me start from the beginning, I am active in Facebook groups, and I have been involved in many heated debates. I am an open honest person that draws a line in the sand and I will defend it with a great passion. I have also been trying to be nicer and more understanding. My sense of humor is still a bit on the dry side. I get into these heated topics and I see some actions of people that drives me nuts. People seem to forget about doing the right thing and do things just to be friends. Is it worth while to have a certain person be your friend if that person causes you to act in unhonorable ways? Are you going to defend a friend if they are acting with no respect to others and is openly being deceptive?
I think the loss of your honor is too high of a price to pay to be popular. I want good friends that I can be proud of. I have a friend that is an atheist, he can be meaner than me at times, but he is honest and openly expresses himself. I am proud to call him my friend. I can handle his moods because I can trust him and he has my respect. Because we have a good friendship, I can discuss anything with him, and I know I would get a good discussion from him.
In one group that I am dealing with there was a discussion about vegans. Some vegans are out of touch with reality and need to rethink their position in my opinion. I was trying to joke around and made the comment about handling a Milky Way to a vegan. The nougat in the Milky Way has egg whites in it. This caused one person to go irrational in response. She had to post 9 different images or links about animal cruelty. She decided to go on a campaign to promote her views. Some of the images were pathetic in my opinion. She posted a picture of a man standing over a lion while holding a compound bow. I tried to explain that many meat eaters are also against trophy hunting.
The issue I have with vegans that are vegans because of animal abuse is that they are hypocrites. They want to place a higher value on certain animals lives compared to everything else. Stop slaughtering the cows but kill all the rats. I made points about how all life should be treated with equal reverence. That plants have been proven to have nervous systems and react to outside stimuli. So shouldn't the head of lettuce be valued just like the cow. Both are lifeforms from this planet.
Well the lady didn't take this too well. She made a post saying that the group was evil. In which I responded that the group isn't evil, it is just a difference of opinion. I thought her comment was very irrational. She was so wrapped up in her agenda that she has lost all objectivity.
I did no name calling or insulting. however a few members started to do passive attacks on me. One person asked if I was a bully in school. By asking the question she placed the suggestion that I was bullying people. And peoples view toward me changed. The worst thing was it was the only thing this person posted. She couldn't add a positive viewpoint to the chat, only a negative passive attack.
So the group admin finally came to the room and asked people to knock off the heated discussion. I agreed and dropped it. But the lady that got so upset with me couldn't drop it. And I quote, "We need to keep talking about it not push it under the carpet". So she has no issues of ignoring the group admins request. Now I have been working on being a nicer person. My atheist friend reminded me of a song " Carrot Juice is Murder". And it is a light hearted way to break the anger. If you can't stop and laugh at the situation, you are taking it too seriously. So I posted the link in the group . And behold, the lady in question took it as an attack on her. And she posted that she wished the subject would end but the other person (me) wouldn't let it end and that other person (me) has attacked her. Now this is a problem because it says she wants to continue the discussion against the admins request, then says she wishes it to end. So as I see it, she only wants to hear from people that agree with her. She played the victim card, right after starting a fight. This is how passive aggressive people fight battles. They cause fights and then claim to be the victim. Hoping that others will side with her and criminalize the supposed attackers.
And people did side with her and helped her attack me. I was criminalized when I was suggested of being a bully. The person made a general statement of repeated attacks on her so that she could be a victim. this works in making sure that nobody sides with me because they would be afraid of being criminalized as well. I made no attacks on her, none. I posted my points and views on being a vegan and about animal cruelty. Never aimed a comment toward her. As I stated in the beginning I draw the line in the sand and I defend it. So they started to say that I was 'the dog and the bone." Fine that does describe me at times, I am not going to lie about who I am. But if I am that dog with the bone, this lady is the neighbor that throws pebbles at the dog , then complains when the dog barks in response.
And nobody stood against her except me. Nobody seen the actions she was doing and told her that she was wrong. The quote I made from her is still up in the group, but not a single person will do anything about it. Why because they choose being every one's friends before being ethically honest with others and themselves. In so many other facebook groups I dealt with the same basic theme. People defended the friend that was behaving badly over the poor ethics that the person showed. A good friend will tell you that you are being an idiot, a bad friend will just smile and fake it. SO maybe I am wasting my time writing this blog. As I stated being ethically honest comes in a distant second to being every one's friend.
And you might be thinking that I am angry with the lady, but I am not mad at her. I feel sorry for her. She faces the toughest punishment imagined... She has to look at herself in the mirror and know that she is corrupt, out of balance, irrational,and lacks respect for others. She stated to opposing views on how she wanted the conversation to end. Either you do or you don't. She was goading for a response so that she can passively attack someone with false claims of attack. She is so high strung on her agenda she see any opposing views as attacks on herself. And when told to stop, she refused.
What does it say about you as a person if you can't stand up for what you believe in. If you can't or won't stand up for the little things, why should I or anyone else trust you when the big things occur. Every time you allow someone to act badly and do nothing , you are agreeing with their actions. If bill seen frank steal twenty bucks and does nothing about it, The bill is supporting stealing from others. If you can't be honest with yourself, why would you be honest with others. I have chosen a difficult road of being ethical. I have ruffled many feathers, but I can look in the mirror and be proud of what I have done today.
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