I have been watching the slow and continual erosion of personal conduct and manners of society over the years. With my actions in many groups on Facebook , I have seen a massive plunge in these cherished abilities. It seems that most people don't even attempt to put the effort out anymore. With their under-educated mentality they post their few worded statements and that is it. And they expect to receive anything and everything they want. We have to stop this trend and start forcing people to try harder.
In one group a guy posted " I need more spells". Where is the please? And where is the Why? There was no explanation on why he needed more spells, he just wants more. I could send him a 'love spell', when he needs a banishing spell. How in the heck is anyone supposed to know what this guy needs or his intent. And I wish I could say this was a rare thing, but it isn't.
Many people don't put forth an effort to explain themselves or give information of themselves anymore. The Instant Gratification Society has been growing and it is driving me insane. So many more people are using their text message lingo as a way to communicate on social networks. And when they are asked to use English, they say that this is just the internet and that it doesn't matter. If you are going to make a request , then you better present yourself in a better manner than... " I need powerful luv spell." Tell me why you need this powerful spell.
If you are going to ask me and others a question, then also include your point of view. " Has any1 done any energy work?" That is just a general term and could mean many different things. I have rewired my garage while the power was on, so yes I have done some energy work. I have done some energy to burn off some extra energy so that I can sleep. Again energy work. But if this person could have stated it better.... "Has anyone done any energy work? I have been trying to focus my energy so that I can see my aura." That is clear and easy to understand. I would then tell the person about a couple different ways to see your aura.
In a different group, there was a young man that wanted to know how to make wands. So he was told how he can make his own wands. A few days later, he posted that he was selling wands for $5.00 . SO this was a rude and of very poor taste, how dare you throw something together and then try to sell it. Where is that young man's pride and desire to do better? I feel like putting a warning about him out. How can you ethically do such a thing? It would be like me grabbing a tarot deck and the next day try charging $30.00 for a reading.
And who do I blame for all of this? Everyone including myself. is at fault for this behavior continuation to this level. I am forced by admins from other groups to be nice and allow others to be stupid. I have been removed from groups when I ask someone to use 'English" on their next post. I have been called a hater for telling others that their usage of the English language is substandard. My favorite expression that I want to use more and more is " I am sorry but my English to Fucktard Dictionary is on back order." That statement is used for those that refuse to even try to use English in any way that makes sense. Most of the blame goes to the parent that doesn't try to teach their kids how to behave and conduct themselves in public.
And what should we do about this? I think that we must start turning those away that refuse to try conduct themselves and present themselves in a decent manner. We would and should give leeway for those that are not from this nation, and don't know how to speak English very well. I was so happy when one lady told the guy in the first example that he was out of line. I saw two posts from ladies telling a person THAT TYPING LIKE THIS IS YELLING AND VERY RUDE. There are some people that actually do try and need to be supported in their actions. For those that aspire to be leaders we also must be teachers and work to have a better community.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Pagan Leadership... an Oxymoron
I have been interested in being an advisor, spiritual guide, teacher, counselor, or a leader in the pagan community. And that is quite a challenge to attempt. I have been able to help others with the Pagan Open Circle Learning project. I am wanting to do more and help out the pagan community. There are so many areas to help and so much to do , it will be no small task. But Pagan leadership is like Military Intelligence, it is an Oxymoron. An oxymoron is saying two words that don't usually go together to mean something specific. Such as Christian scientist and Military Intelligence.
Pagan leadership is as futile as herding 20 cats. Pagans are like cats because they are all unique and view the world in their own reality. Cats do things in a singular style that is almost impossible to understand. The only way I can herd my 3 cats is when I have just opened a can of cat food. And it is impossible to offer "pagan food" 24 hours a day to get a group of pagans to work together.
So why would anyone want to do such a task? For me it is about getting Paganism to be more accepted to the greater world out there. By getting more people to understand and accept Pagans as normal everyday people. I don't want to be a single leader standing out in front of cameras telling people to look at me. Yes, I do love making my YouTube videos, but those are tools for the purpose not self portraits to gain attention.
I have been involved with many discussions about pagan leadership, and I usually walk away wanting to scream. There always seems to be this small group of pagans that want a "den mother" as a leader. They want someone that is kind and supportive and never raises a voice or says an unkind word. I see this as a rather foolish concept. A good Leader must be able to speak openly without ever being afraid of offending someone, and this leader must be able to make decisions that are not always well liked.
Voicing an opinion about something you find bothersome should be allowed. It is interesting that the same people that tell you that you are wrong about voicing an unsupportive opinion are posting an unsupportive opinion. They are being hypocrites. You, me, and everyone else should be able to speak freely, and all opinions about what is discussed should be also spoken freely. I was told that the way I presented myself was mean and crude. So I can't be me, because I have to present myself in a politically correct manner. I want to converse with people that can speak freely and honestly. When we have to make our statements politically correct and non-aggressive we also lose some of the emotion involved.
I am not a "Den Mother" type of person. I know through history, good leaders have to make some decisions that they don't like, and some decisions that a majority of the peop0le don't like. But these decisions are made for the greater good of the group. My political hero is Winston Churchill, He was popular and also hated by the people of Britain.
What are the qualities of a good leader?
Integrity is the integration of outward actions and inner values. A person of integrity is the same on the outside and on the inside. Such an individual can be trusted because he or she never veers from inner values, even when it might be expeditious to do so. A leader must have the trust of followers and therefore must display integrity.
Honest dealings, predictable reactions, well-controlled emotions, and an absence of tantrums and harsh outbursts are all signs of integrity. A leader who is centered in integrity will be more approachable by followers.
Dedication means spending whatever time or energy is necessary to accomplish the task at hand. A leader inspires dedication by example, doing whatever it takes to complete the next step toward the vision. By setting an excellent example, leaders can show followers that there are no nine-to-five jobs on the team, only opportunities to achieve something great.
Magnanimity means giving credit where it is due. A magnanimous leader ensures that credit for successes is spread as widely as possible throughout the company. Conversely, a good leader takes personal responsibility for failures. This sort of reverse magnanimity helps other people feel good about themselves and draws the team closer together. To spread the fame and take the blame is a hallmark of effective leadership.
Leaders with humility recognize that they are no better or worse than other members of the team. A humble leader is not self-effacing but rather tries to elevate everyone. Leaders with humility also understand that their status does not make them a god.
Openness means being able to listen to new ideas, even if they do not conform to the usual way of thinking. Good leaders are able to suspend judgment while listening to others' ideas, as well as accept new ways of doing things that someone else thought of. Openness builds mutual respect and trust between leaders and followers, and it also keeps the team well supplied with new ideas that can further its vision.
Creativity is the ability to think differently, to get outside of the box that constrains solutions. Creativity gives leaders the ability to see things that others have not seen and thus lead followers in new directions. The most important question that a leader can ask is, "What if … ?" Possibly the worst thing a leader can say is, "I know this is a dumb question ... ".
Fairness means dealing with others consistently and justly. A leader must check all the facts and hear everyone out before passing judgment. He or she must avoid leaping to conclusions based on incomplete evidence. When people feel they that are being treated fairly, they reward a leader with loyalty and dedication.
Assertiveness is not the same as aggressiveness. Rather, it is the ability to clearly state what one expects so that there will be no misunderstandings. A leader must be assertive to get the desired results. Along with assertiveness comes the responsibility to clearly understand what followers expect from their leader.
A sense of humor is vital to relieve tension and boredom, as well as to defuse hostility. Effective leaders know how to use humor to energize followers. Humor is a form of power that provides some control over the work environment. And simply put, humor fosters good camaraderie.
I believe that I have many of those qualities, some need a little more work than others. Most leaders have some traits that stand out. Other leaders show a lacking of a certain quality. As for me, I do need to work more on my sense of humor.
Since Paganism is such a broad term it has a major problem. Try to get all of the pagans to agree on one thing. You can't please everyone at the same time. Someone is going to be left out. And for Pagans this is a major thorn. We can see a person's 100 point plan to better paganism as a whole. But if one point doesn't agree with a pagan, that is all they are going to talk about. They can't get past this one point and that is when the pagan community falls apart. If a person tried to please the Eclectic Wiccans he could be ignoring the Odinists, and vice versa.
This causes that small percentage to scream and moan about what you are speaking about. You will here comments like "How dare he try to speak for me!!". " You are not a Wiccan, you shouldn't be allowed to talk about Wiccans" It is these attitudes that show the reality of all religious groups, there are going to be those that take a hardline. What is a good leader supposed to do? It would be wrong to ignore them, but you can't lose time trying to please everyone. You are forced to take in everything and accept the fact that someone is not going to be happy.
So a good leader also needs to have a thick skin to handle all the barbs and insults that are thrown at him/her. A person that is trying to be a leader has to decide very early if they are willing to handle all the stresses and responsibilities of the task ahead of them. Then they have to ask themselves why they want to do it. Do you want Fame, money, power, to help others, what is your driving force?
And then there is something that I think is overlooked by many pagans. A pagan leader doesn't hold any legal power over anyone of anything. It is a temporary figurehead that can be ignored at anytime you like. Just because I want to be a leader and help paganism get more exposure to the rest of the world doesn't mean that I actually represent everyone. I can only lead those that are willing to listen, and they will only go as far as they are willing to travel. Only those that can agree with my points of view will have me as some form of leader. Thus I can have a group of 7 followers or 10,000, it is up to the individual to decide.
So then the final thing a pagan leader needs to decide is ... What are his/her goals and how should they be achieved?
Pagan leadership is as futile as herding 20 cats. Pagans are like cats because they are all unique and view the world in their own reality. Cats do things in a singular style that is almost impossible to understand. The only way I can herd my 3 cats is when I have just opened a can of cat food. And it is impossible to offer "pagan food" 24 hours a day to get a group of pagans to work together.
So why would anyone want to do such a task? For me it is about getting Paganism to be more accepted to the greater world out there. By getting more people to understand and accept Pagans as normal everyday people. I don't want to be a single leader standing out in front of cameras telling people to look at me. Yes, I do love making my YouTube videos, but those are tools for the purpose not self portraits to gain attention.
I have been involved with many discussions about pagan leadership, and I usually walk away wanting to scream. There always seems to be this small group of pagans that want a "den mother" as a leader. They want someone that is kind and supportive and never raises a voice or says an unkind word. I see this as a rather foolish concept. A good Leader must be able to speak openly without ever being afraid of offending someone, and this leader must be able to make decisions that are not always well liked.
Voicing an opinion about something you find bothersome should be allowed. It is interesting that the same people that tell you that you are wrong about voicing an unsupportive opinion are posting an unsupportive opinion. They are being hypocrites. You, me, and everyone else should be able to speak freely, and all opinions about what is discussed should be also spoken freely. I was told that the way I presented myself was mean and crude. So I can't be me, because I have to present myself in a politically correct manner. I want to converse with people that can speak freely and honestly. When we have to make our statements politically correct and non-aggressive we also lose some of the emotion involved.
I am not a "Den Mother" type of person. I know through history, good leaders have to make some decisions that they don't like, and some decisions that a majority of the peop0le don't like. But these decisions are made for the greater good of the group. My political hero is Winston Churchill, He was popular and also hated by the people of Britain.
What are the qualities of a good leader?
Integrity is the integration of outward actions and inner values. A person of integrity is the same on the outside and on the inside. Such an individual can be trusted because he or she never veers from inner values, even when it might be expeditious to do so. A leader must have the trust of followers and therefore must display integrity.
Honest dealings, predictable reactions, well-controlled emotions, and an absence of tantrums and harsh outbursts are all signs of integrity. A leader who is centered in integrity will be more approachable by followers.
Dedication means spending whatever time or energy is necessary to accomplish the task at hand. A leader inspires dedication by example, doing whatever it takes to complete the next step toward the vision. By setting an excellent example, leaders can show followers that there are no nine-to-five jobs on the team, only opportunities to achieve something great.
Magnanimity means giving credit where it is due. A magnanimous leader ensures that credit for successes is spread as widely as possible throughout the company. Conversely, a good leader takes personal responsibility for failures. This sort of reverse magnanimity helps other people feel good about themselves and draws the team closer together. To spread the fame and take the blame is a hallmark of effective leadership.
Leaders with humility recognize that they are no better or worse than other members of the team. A humble leader is not self-effacing but rather tries to elevate everyone. Leaders with humility also understand that their status does not make them a god.
Openness means being able to listen to new ideas, even if they do not conform to the usual way of thinking. Good leaders are able to suspend judgment while listening to others' ideas, as well as accept new ways of doing things that someone else thought of. Openness builds mutual respect and trust between leaders and followers, and it also keeps the team well supplied with new ideas that can further its vision.
Creativity is the ability to think differently, to get outside of the box that constrains solutions. Creativity gives leaders the ability to see things that others have not seen and thus lead followers in new directions. The most important question that a leader can ask is, "What if … ?" Possibly the worst thing a leader can say is, "I know this is a dumb question ... ".
Fairness means dealing with others consistently and justly. A leader must check all the facts and hear everyone out before passing judgment. He or she must avoid leaping to conclusions based on incomplete evidence. When people feel they that are being treated fairly, they reward a leader with loyalty and dedication.
Assertiveness is not the same as aggressiveness. Rather, it is the ability to clearly state what one expects so that there will be no misunderstandings. A leader must be assertive to get the desired results. Along with assertiveness comes the responsibility to clearly understand what followers expect from their leader.
A sense of humor is vital to relieve tension and boredom, as well as to defuse hostility. Effective leaders know how to use humor to energize followers. Humor is a form of power that provides some control over the work environment. And simply put, humor fosters good camaraderie.
I believe that I have many of those qualities, some need a little more work than others. Most leaders have some traits that stand out. Other leaders show a lacking of a certain quality. As for me, I do need to work more on my sense of humor.
Since Paganism is such a broad term it has a major problem. Try to get all of the pagans to agree on one thing. You can't please everyone at the same time. Someone is going to be left out. And for Pagans this is a major thorn. We can see a person's 100 point plan to better paganism as a whole. But if one point doesn't agree with a pagan, that is all they are going to talk about. They can't get past this one point and that is when the pagan community falls apart. If a person tried to please the Eclectic Wiccans he could be ignoring the Odinists, and vice versa.
This causes that small percentage to scream and moan about what you are speaking about. You will here comments like "How dare he try to speak for me!!". " You are not a Wiccan, you shouldn't be allowed to talk about Wiccans" It is these attitudes that show the reality of all religious groups, there are going to be those that take a hardline. What is a good leader supposed to do? It would be wrong to ignore them, but you can't lose time trying to please everyone. You are forced to take in everything and accept the fact that someone is not going to be happy.
So a good leader also needs to have a thick skin to handle all the barbs and insults that are thrown at him/her. A person that is trying to be a leader has to decide very early if they are willing to handle all the stresses and responsibilities of the task ahead of them. Then they have to ask themselves why they want to do it. Do you want Fame, money, power, to help others, what is your driving force?
And then there is something that I think is overlooked by many pagans. A pagan leader doesn't hold any legal power over anyone of anything. It is a temporary figurehead that can be ignored at anytime you like. Just because I want to be a leader and help paganism get more exposure to the rest of the world doesn't mean that I actually represent everyone. I can only lead those that are willing to listen, and they will only go as far as they are willing to travel. Only those that can agree with my points of view will have me as some form of leader. Thus I can have a group of 7 followers or 10,000, it is up to the individual to decide.
So then the final thing a pagan leader needs to decide is ... What are his/her goals and how should they be achieved?
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