Pagan Leadership... an Oxymoron

     I have been interested in being an advisor, spiritual guide, teacher, counselor, or a leader in the pagan community. And that is quite a challenge to attempt. I have been able to  help others with the Pagan Open Circle Learning project.  I  am wanting to do more and help out the pagan community. There are so many  areas to help and so much  to do , it will  be no small task.  But Pagan leadership is like Military Intelligence, it is an Oxymoron. An oxymoron is saying two words that  don't usually go together to mean something specific.   Such  as Christian scientist and Military Intelligence.

     Pagan leadership is as futile as herding 20  cats.  Pagans are like cats because they  are all unique and view the world in their own reality. Cats do  things in a singular style that is almost impossible to understand. The only way I  can herd my 3 cats is when I have just opened a can of cat food. And it is impossible to offer "pagan food" 24 hours a day to get a group of pagans to work together.

     So  why  would anyone want to do such a task? For me it is about getting Paganism to be more accepted to  the greater world out there. By getting more people to understand  and accept Pagans as normal everyday people. I  don't want to  be a single leader standing out in front of cameras telling people to look  at me. Yes, I  do love making my YouTube videos, but  those are tools for the purpose not self portraits to  gain attention.

     I have been involved with  many discussions about pagan leadership, and I  usually walk away wanting to scream.  There always seems to  be this small group of pagans that  want a "den mother" as a leader.  They want someone that is kind and supportive and never raises a voice or says an unkind word.  I see this as  a rather foolish concept. A good Leader must be able to speak openly without ever being afraid of offending someone, and this leader must be able to make decisions that are not always well liked.

     Voicing an opinion about something you find bothersome should be allowed. It is interesting that  the same people that  tell  you  that  you are wrong about voicing an unsupportive opinion are posting an unsupportive opinion. They  are being hypocrites.   You, me, and everyone else should be able to speak freely, and all opinions about what is discussed should be also spoken freely.  I  was told that  the way I  presented myself was mean and crude. So I  can't be me, because I have to present myself in a politically correct manner.  I  want to converse with  people that  can speak freely and honestly. When we have to make our statements politically correct and non-aggressive we also lose some of the emotion involved.

     I  am not a "Den Mother" type of person.  I know through history, good leaders have to make some decisions that  they  don't like, and some decisions that  a majority of the peop0le don't like. But  these decisions are made for the greater good of the group. My political hero is Winston Churchill, He was popular and also hated by  the people of  Britain. 

     What  are the qualities of a good leader?

Integrity is the integration of outward actions and inner values. A person of integrity is the same on the outside and on the inside. Such an individual can be trusted because he or she never veers from inner values, even when it might be expeditious to do so. A leader must have the trust of followers and therefore must display integrity.
Honest dealings, predictable reactions, well-controlled emotions, and an absence of tantrums and harsh outbursts are all signs of integrity. A leader who is centered in integrity will be more approachable by followers.

Dedication means spending whatever time or energy is necessary to accomplish the task at hand. A leader inspires dedication by example, doing whatever it takes to complete the next step toward the vision. By setting an excellent example, leaders can show followers that there are no nine-to-five jobs on the team, only opportunities to achieve something great.

Magnanimity means giving credit where it is due. A magnanimous leader ensures that credit for successes is spread as widely as possible throughout the company. Conversely, a good leader takes personal responsibility for failures. This sort of reverse magnanimity helps other people feel good about themselves and draws the team closer together. To spread the fame and take the blame is a hallmark of effective leadership.
Leaders with humility recognize that they are no better or worse than other members of the team. A humble leader is not self-effacing but rather tries to elevate everyone. Leaders with humility also understand that their status does not make them a god.

Openness means being able to listen to new ideas, even if they do not conform to the usual way of thinking. Good leaders are able to suspend judgment while listening to others' ideas, as well as accept new ways of doing things that someone else thought of. Openness builds mutual respect and trust between leaders and followers, and it also keeps the team well supplied with new ideas that can further its vision.

Creativity is the ability to think differently, to get outside of the box that constrains solutions. Creativity gives leaders the ability to see things that others have not seen and thus lead followers in new directions. The most important question that a leader can ask is, "What if … ?" Possibly the worst thing a leader can say is, "I know this is a dumb question ... ".

Fairness means dealing with others consistently and justly. A leader must check all the facts and hear everyone out before passing judgment. He or she must avoid leaping to conclusions based on incomplete evidence. When people feel they that are being treated fairly, they reward a leader with loyalty and dedication.

Assertiveness is not the same as aggressiveness. Rather, it is the ability to clearly state what one expects so that there will be no misunderstandings. A leader must be assertive to get the desired results. Along with assertiveness comes the responsibility to clearly understand what followers expect from their leader.

A sense of humor is vital to relieve tension and boredom, as well as to defuse hostility. Effective leaders know how to use humor to energize followers. Humor is a form of power that provides some control over the work environment. And simply put, humor fosters good camaraderie.

     I  believe that I  have many of those qualities, some need a little more work  than others.  Most leaders have some traits that  stand out. Other leaders show a lacking of a certain quality. As for me, I  do  need to work more on my sense of humor.

     Since Paganism is such a broad term it has a major problem. Try to  get all of the pagans to agree on one thing. You  can't please everyone at the  same time. Someone is going to be left out. And for Pagans this is a major thorn. We can see a person's 100 point plan to  better paganism as a whole. But if one point doesn't agree with a pagan, that is all  they  are going to  talk  about. They  can't get past this one point and that is when the pagan community falls apart. If a person tried to please the Eclectic Wiccans he could be ignoring the  Odinists, and vice versa.

     This causes that small percentage to scream and moan about  what  you are speaking about. You  will here comments like  "How dare he try to  speak  for me!!". " You  are not a Wiccan, you shouldn't be allowed to talk  about Wiccans"   It is these attitudes that  show the reality of all religious groups, there are going to  be those that  take a hardline.  What is a good leader supposed to  do? It would be wrong to ignore them, but  you can't lose time trying to please everyone.  You are forced to take in everything and accept the fact that  someone is not going to  be happy.

     So a good leader also  needs to have a thick skin to handle all  the barbs and insults that  are thrown at him/her. A person that is trying to  be a leader has to decide very  early if they  are willing to handle all  the stresses and responsibilities of the task ahead of them. Then they  have to  ask themselves why  they  want to  do it.  Do you want Fame, money, power, to help others, what is your driving force?

    And then there is something that I  think is overlooked by many pagans.  A pagan leader doesn't hold any legal power over anyone of anything. It is a temporary figurehead that  can be ignored at anytime you like.  Just because I  want to be a leader and help paganism get more exposure to  the  rest of the world doesn't mean that I  actually represent everyone.  I  can only lead those that  are willing to listen, and they  will only go as far as they  are willing to  travel.  Only those that  can agree with my points of view will have me as some form of leader.  Thus I  can have a group of 7 followers or 10,000, it is up to  the individual  to decide. 

     So  then the final  thing a pagan leader needs to decide is ... What  are his/her goals and how should they  be achieved?   

Sinning in Wicca.... thou must conform.

     Many of us pagans were Christians at one time in our lives. One of the main reasons most of us left was the judgmental ways of the church over everyone else. You  know what  I  am talking about, how  the Christian church and its followers  viewed everyone that  didn't follow the group line as second class citizens.  People that  broke the church  cannon were called sinners.  There were  the minor sins and the major sins, but  they didn't care, you went against accepted church  doctrine and you must be punished.

     Every  church  had a slightly different view on everything , but  they mostly agreed with  the church  down the street. And it is those little differences that  caused other Christians to  be called sinners.  I  remember when I  left Christianity , and in my favorite chatroom, I  could say  that  I  was no longer a sinner. Because since I  left Christianity the bible  no longer was my rulebook  and thus I  couldn't sin.

     So we left Christianity and  found our paths in paganism. We were so happy not to  have all  that  dogma and judgments hanging  over our heads. We grew as individuals , building  our beliefs with freedom and  pride.  Our only guides  was our mind, our heart, and what  we found in historical accounts.

     Every time someone tried to build a structure to unite  pagans together, the rebellion would start. How dare that person try to  tell  me how to follow. Or That  person doesn't know what I  believe, I will  not let him/her represent me. We were stubborn to  the core about being free to  be who  we wanted to  be.  And while it was a great thing it did  have it's drawbacks.  I  would love to  see a more united pagan community, so  that  we could be taken more serious by  the Abrahamic groups.

     But  that has changed now, Wicca has one unwritten law that must be honored.  If you are a wiccan you must be supportive of anything that another wiccan says, even if they are factually wrong.  You  are required to  sit in silence if you can not say  anything supportive of another person's statement. If you state anything that is not supportive you are called negative and considered a sinner to Wicca. 

     How  can I  say this? well you can thank  Facebook  for  this situation. I  am a vocal  person by nature. I will  tell others how I  feel  and I  will  correct fallacies when I  see them.  I  am against people making false claims  with paganism. Because I don't want those new to paganism to  get the wrong impression of paganism.  I have been banned from a few groups on Facebook the last  couple years. This  last  week I  was banned from two. Why ? Because I  was being negative.  I  wasn't being hostile and insulting other members with  foul  names, I  gave unsupportive statements and stood by  them. I  was called negative and exiled from the group.  I  committed the unwritten sin and was exiled.

     In this one group I  was seeing some rather irrating spell  request posts. Besides the normal love spell  requests, there was a spell  request to  change eye color, and a second to stay out of jail. So I  posted how this is silly. If you break  the law, you should face the consquences. To  change eye color use the tinted contacts or  deal with it.  I  told people that it  was not only the people making the spell  requests but  the people that  supported that  type of behavior. I  thought that  more of the members need to  read a book about magic.

     But it  even gets worse, then a lady  posts a spell request for a "rare powerful fertility" spell. She just had a miscarriage and wanted a spell  so  that  she can have a baby soon.  I  told her that  she should  get checked out with  a doctor first, meditate on what  issues  that  could be affecting her. In other words, I  didn't go 100% supportive in the way  she wanted.  I was targeted by  comments about my not-so-nice comment , but I  stood my  ground. ( I sinned).  people were getting hostile toward me  because I  explained why I  did  what  I  did.  I  told the members of the group  that I  would have given the same exact advice to  a family member as I  did with  her.   I  was told that  I  didn't know her ordeal. Well  the lady  didn't post very  much information  to know more.  Comes to find out, the lady with this spell  request already  had many  kids from 19 to 2 years old.  She didn't need a fertility spell.

     Then I  commited an even bigger sin, I  countered the comments from everyone else. I told them that  I  have been in relationships that had miscarriages and so  that I  knew the  plain that  eats away  at a person when you lose a child. I  told them about my  brother almost dying, so I  gave this lady solid advice based on the experiences I have went through.  I  never called anyone a name or used profanity.  I  seen that  there was a comment after my  post, so  I  checked on it.  It  said that  I  was "being negative."  . I  tried to  write a response, but  I  was banned from the group before I  could post it.

     In the other group there was a guy  that  was posting misinformation,  He was saying that  he was a wiccan priest of a 4,000 year old witchcraft. I  tried to  explain to him that was impossible. Wicca only being around 60 years can't  have a witchcraft that is older that itself. He could have said that  he was a witch of a 4,000 year old  path.  Because Wicca is a collection of different traditions assembled into one new tradition.  It could have parts of the 4,000 year old tradition, but other things have been added or replaced parts of it.  I  was using facts. Well I  was told that  I  was attacking his beliefs. He then also  told me that  Wiccans do not argue. That  all  wiccans listen and learn.  I  tried to  explain that  we as humans are going to  disagree. But  he stood his ground and said that  Wiccans don't argue. moments later I  was banned from that  group.

     So  there is this unwritten rule in Wicca and is overly enforced in so many Wicca groups. You  can't disagree with someone or you will  be removed. You  will  be called negative and banned. Being different is a sin. So  these wiccan group leaders are enforcing this unwritten rule. As soon as someone else calls you negative , a sinner, you can be removed from a group.  This is like the Christian church, you have to  follow a certain line of conduct or you will  be considered a sinner and unwanted element of the community.

     So all  these love and light eclectic wiccans that  shun anything dark are able to control and manipulate the community.  So  we have reached the area I have feared.  Pagans that have no  balance or guidance are  calling  anyone that bothers them a bully and getting them removed.  This goes against nature's law of survival.  In the first group I  was posting my YouTube videos trying to  help  the new pagans. I  was answering questions trying to  be helpful.  But because of one thread that I  was very  passionate about didn't sit well with  a select few, I  was removed.

     I  can't allow all  these new pagans be blinded by  such  sugar coated pagan concepts. I  watched a pagan YouTube video  tonight that  told  others that if you want to  be an Eclectic pagan find the parts that  you like most from other beliefs and add them to your path.  Cherry picking paganism, that  misses any balancing and furthers the light  and love wiccan's course of self destruction.

     But I  can't teach  those that  don't want to  learn about the hardships and darkness that balances out paganism. They  will  continue to  think  as the 'hag' aspect of the goddess to  be of death  and evil.  They  will  treat the god like pokemon, only using them when the need arises.  They  will  continue to call  those that  don't fit their  happy world negative and exile them.

     Wicca is becoming just like the Christian church is now.  I have told you about the judgments toward others that  don't agree with  them. I see many of them  using the rede a form of Dogma.  Wicca has become goddess oriented and treats male aspects as supporting cast,  the polar opposite of the Christian church, but  still  supporting one gender over the other blindly.

     Has wicca changed so much  from Gardner's vision, that it is no longer wicca, but something else?