Ethics and Friendship

     Well I  am dealing with  an issue that  I  think many ignore. Do  you place more importance on your ethics or your friends?  I  believe that  too many  people are placing the importance on friends than ethics.  I  believe that a person should place importance on ethics first then friends.  Yes this does mean that  you will  not have as many  friends as others, but you would have better friends than the others as well.

     Let me start from the beginning, I  am active in Facebook  groups, and I  have been involved in many   heated debates. I am an open honest person that  draws a line in the sand and I  will  defend it with a great passion. I have also been trying to  be nicer and more understanding.  My  sense of humor is still  a bit on the dry side.   I  get into   these heated topics and I  see some actions of people that  drives me nuts. People seem to  forget about doing the right thing and do  things just to  be friends.  Is it worth while to  have a certain person be your friend if that  person causes you to  act in unhonorable ways?  Are you going to  defend a friend if they are acting with no  respect to others and is openly being deceptive?

     I think  the loss of your honor is too  high of a price to  pay to  be popular.  I  want good friends that I  can be proud of.  I  have a friend that is an atheist, he can be meaner than me at times, but he is honest and openly expresses himself.  I  am proud to  call  him my friend.  I  can handle his moods because I  can trust him and he has my  respect.  Because we have a good friendship, I  can discuss  anything with him, and I  know I  would get a good discussion from him.

     In one group  that I  am dealing with there was a discussion about vegans. Some vegans are out of touch  with  reality and need to  rethink their position in my opinion.  I  was trying to  joke around and  made the comment about handling a Milky Way to  a vegan. The nougat in the Milky Way has egg whites in it.  This caused one person to  go irrational in response. She had to post 9  different images or links  about animal cruelty.  She decided to  go  on a campaign to promote  her views.  Some of the images were pathetic in my  opinion.  She posted a picture of a man standing over a lion  while holding a compound bow.  I  tried to  explain that  many  meat eaters are also  against trophy hunting. 

     The issue I  have with  vegans that  are vegans because of animal  abuse is that  they  are hypocrites.  They  want to  place a higher value on certain animals  lives compared to everything else.   Stop slaughtering the cows but kill all  the rats.  I  made points about how all life should be treated with  equal reverence.  That  plants have been proven to have nervous systems  and react to outside stimuli. So  shouldn't the head of lettuce be valued just like the cow. Both are lifeforms  from this planet.

     Well  the lady  didn't take this too  well. She made a post saying that  the group was evil. In which I  responded that the group  isn't evil, it is just a difference of opinion.  I  thought her comment was very irrational.  She was so  wrapped up in her agenda that  she has lost all objectivity.

     I did  no name calling or insulting. however a few members started to  do  passive attacks on me. One person asked if I  was a bully in school.  By  asking the question  she placed the suggestion that  I  was bullying  people.  And peoples view toward me changed.  The worst thing was it was the only thing this person posted.  She couldn't  add a  positive viewpoint to  the chat, only a negative passive attack.

     So  the group  admin finally  came to  the room and asked people to knock off the heated discussion.  I  agreed and dropped it.  But  the lady that  got so  upset with me couldn't drop it. And I  quote, "We need to keep talking about it not push it under the carpet". So  she has no  issues of ignoring the group  admins request.   Now I have been working on being a nicer person.  My  atheist  friend reminded me of a song " Carrot Juice is Murder". And it is a light hearted way  to  break  the anger.  If you can't stop  and laugh  at the situation, you are taking it too  seriously.  So I  posted the link in the group .  And behold, the lady in question took it as an attack on her.  And she posted that she wished the subject would end but  the other person (me) wouldn't let it end and that  other person (me) has attacked her.   Now this  is a problem because it says she wants to  continue the discussion against the admins request, then says she wishes it to  end. So as I  see it, she only wants to  hear  from people that  agree with  her.   She played the victim card,  right after  starting  a fight.  This is how passive aggressive people fight battles.  They cause fights and then claim to  be the victim. Hoping that others will  side with  her and criminalize the supposed attackers.

      And people did  side with her and helped her attack me. I  was criminalized when I  was suggested of being a bully.  The person made a general statement of repeated attacks  on her so  that  she could be a victim.  this works in making sure that  nobody sides with me because they  would be afraid of  being criminalized as well.  I made no attacks on her, none.  I posted my points and views on being a vegan and about animal cruelty.  Never  aimed a comment toward her.  As I stated in the beginning I  draw the line in the sand and I  defend it.  So  they  started to  say  that I  was 'the dog and the bone."  Fine  that  does describe me at times, I  am not going to  lie about who I  am.  But if I  am that  dog with  the bone, this lady  is the neighbor that  throws pebbles at the dog , then complains when the dog barks in response.

     And nobody stood against her except me.  Nobody seen the actions she was doing and told her that  she was wrong.  The quote I  made from her is still  up in the group,  but  not a single person will  do  anything about it. Why  because they  choose being  every one's friends before being ethically honest with others and themselves.  In so many  other facebook groups I  dealt with  the same basic theme.  People defended the friend that  was behaving badly  over the poor ethics that  the person showed.  A good friend will  tell you that  you are being an idiot, a bad friend  will  just smile and fake it.  SO maybe I  am wasting my time writing this blog. As I  stated  being ethically honest  comes in a distant  second  to  being every one's friend.

     And you might be thinking that I  am angry with  the lady, but I  am not mad at her. I  feel  sorry for her.  She faces the toughest punishment  imagined... She has to look at herself in the mirror and know that  she is corrupt, out of balance, irrational,and lacks respect for others.  She stated to opposing views on how she wanted the conversation to end.  Either you  do  or you don't.  She was goading  for a response so  that  she can passively attack  someone with  false claims of attack.  She is so  high strung on her agenda she  see any opposing  views as attacks on herself.  And when told to  stop, she refused.

What  does it say about you as a person if you can't  stand up for what you believe in.  If you can't or won't stand up  for the little things, why should I  or anyone else trust you when the big things occur.  Every time you allow someone to  act badly and do  nothing , you are agreeing with  their actions. If bill  seen frank  steal  twenty bucks and does nothing about it,  The bill is supporting stealing from others. If you can't be honest with yourself, why  would you be honest with others.  I have chosen a difficult road of being ethical. I have ruffled many  feathers, but I can look in the mirror and be proud of what I  have done today.

Who do we have to be.... Everyone!

     I  have been answering some questions online about how I  am and why I  do  what  I  do.  I  think  many  pagans believe that  they are out to make the world a better place.  I  think  that  way  as well, but I  perform that  task  differently than many out  there. Many  of my  Wiccan friends tell  me to  love everyone, sorry that  doesn't work  for me. They  tell  me to  be positive, some situations outside need a more rough nature to  resolve them.  Embrace the light, somethings run  from the light.  I have to  do  things differently.

     I  worked on my intro  video  for YouTube today. and I  was trying to  explain who I  am.  I  am a very  complex person so  trying to put it into  words in front of a video camera in 10 minutes wasn't working well  for me.  So I  decided to  write a blog about it instead.   If you are wanting to  change the world you have to do so many  things.  Filling the world with  love doesn't help  everything.  We have to  be everyone to  change the world around us.

•  I have to  be the scholar.  Try to  teach  those around me about  what  type of people Pagans are.
• I have to  be the Warrior. To protect myself and others from those that  choose hate and violence.
• I have to  be the Peacemaker. When peace can be made, it  must be attempted.
• I  have to  be the Antagonist.  I have to  oppose those that  wish  to lie about who  pagans are, letting them know that  the battle they  wish  will  be fought .
• I  have to  be the reporter. To  tell  others of what I  seen and know.
• I have to  be the builder.  Willing to  build  things that  are broken.
• I have to  be the artist. To  express my  passions in different ways so  that many  can understand.
• I  have to  be the follower.  To  know when others know better.
• I have to  be the leader.  So  that  people know that  they  are not alone.
• I have to  be silent.  To know when the battle should not be fought at  this time.
• I have to  be the Judge. To  decide the course I must follow.
• I have to  be the parent. To  show  what is wrong and right.
• I have to  be the Philosopher. To  build a code of honor and ethics.

     I have to  be all  these things and probably more to  be the person I need to be. I  can't run when others attack my beliefs. I must  stand like the warrior. When they  wish  to  silence me, I  must be the reporter that  tells others the fight is on.  When they tell us that  our dreams are foolish, I  must be the Artist and the builder to  tell others that  our dreams are still  alive. I have to  be the judge to  myself, so  that  I  do  not stray  from course. We are these things, but we must decide to  use these professions  to make the world a better place.   If you do not defend, you will surrender. If you do  not report, you will not be known. If you do not teach, you will  know of your ways.  If  you do not act morally, you will  not be honored.

      I have to  be everyone. I have decided to  be a better person. I have helped people understand the world better. I have to  bare the scars of my work  as well.  I have gained enemies, but that is the price I  take. Winston Churchill  made a statement that  unless you have people mad at you, you haven't stood up  for anything.  If you can't handle having people mad at you, then you need to  rethink  everything. I  tried writing a book  many  years ago.  A story of a warrior that  had an old wise father.  The Father told his son one  piece of advice that  fits here.
        There are many  things in life worth  fighting for....
        There are quite a few things worth  killing for....
        There are somethings worth dying for..
         But  there is only a handful of thing in life worth  living for...
        And when you  learn what  those are. Then you know what  your life is for.

     How important is your beliefs? Are you willing to  fight for them?  Are they  worth killing for? There are only a few things in life that  matter, everything else is trivial.  My  son is worth  killing for, but I  would rather stay  alive and help  him be a better person. I live for him.  My  ethics and beliefs are also  very important,  I  would die for them as well.  With  the understanding that  my  death  might help   someone else keep  their freedom.  But I  would per fer to  fight so  that  I  can practise as I  wish.
     And here is where my  issue with  light and love eclectic Wiccans comes out.  If you run  and shun everything that  may seem dark.  Then you are not willing to  fight for anything. And if you don't know what you are fighting for, how  can you know what  you are living for.  Until  you draw the lines, you don't know what  type of person you can be.  I  forget who  said this,  " Only those that  test their limits , know their limits."

   I  guess I  am asking every pagan out there to  look  at  themselves and ask  themselves, Are you happy  being the person that  you are?  Can you do more to  be a better person?  To  cause change in the world  we have to  be better people.  Simply invoking love into  everything isn't enough.  It  takes work and dirt to  move a mountain.  If you can't get dirty,  you are in the way  of others.  We are washable,  get your hands dirty and  then after the work , wash  them off.  I  can make a video or image that  is  considered dark  and mean,  and then  create something that is positive and helps others.  If I  can do  it, so  can you.